i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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