Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
