Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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