Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
