I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
