idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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