can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
