After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Drunk is not a location!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
