eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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