i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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