I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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