What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
