Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
