He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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