Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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