I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
