Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
