All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
