I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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