I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
