Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's rum buckets o'clock
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
