this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
