he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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