I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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