There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
