so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
