So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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