There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
