Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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