bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You took a bar mat shot.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
