I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
