sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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