I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
