You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
