Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
