this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
