i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
