Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
