If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
