FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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