well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I am one with the molecules
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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