Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He felt like a one man threesome
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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