This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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