we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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