I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
