it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize