I want to make a zoo with you.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
