What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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