her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I AM VODKA MAN
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
