Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the condom got lost in my hair
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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