He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
