There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
