If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
