Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
