I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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