Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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