One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
