another moral hangover. fuck.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
